Smoke Jackson Reports: Tiger Woods Leaves Rehab After One Week; Does The Stanky Leg

Ms. Wyntour has told the entire office that we need to believe in Tiger Woods. In fact, we're not allowed to say anything negative about him.

So when I received the following picture in my email this morning I wasn't sure what to do with it.

Apparently, Tiger Woods is finished with rehab after just one week, and photographs of the golfer doing the 'stanky leg' have already surfaced on the internet. A source close to the golfer claims that these pictures have been altered and that Woods was simply stretching as part of his golfing fitness routine.



- Smoke Jackson

Rahm Emanuel & Nancy Pelosi Discuss Health care; Picture Makes People Need Health care More

The Huffington Post is reporting that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel met with House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif), on Friday evening to discuss Health care. While the article explains the "You first" "No you first" battle that has been taking place between the House and the Senate, the internet paper failed to comment on the picture it chose to accompany the article.

"It was definitely intentional" commented a source, who wished to remain anonymous, "The health care bill, intended to make health care more affordable,  has received serious backlash from the American people, and anything that can be done to make people feel sick... will soften them up to this type of reform. So this picture was an obvious choice."

read about their Friday night meeting but ignore their facial expressions in this picture here.

YogueIN Correspondent Spends Day Reading Blogs; Dies

OWINGS MILLS -- Boredom took the life of YogueIN investigative reporter, Britt Williams, while on assignment in Owings Mills, MD. Williams recently began a study for TRUTHzone LLC, a company that specializes in the brutal truth about all things, in order to determine whether or not reading blogs is an effective form of entertainment. Her task was to find and read posts from the "every day blogger" a task which proved deadly. There are no more details at this time.

BREAKING NEWS: Books Replace Friends

BALTIMORE, February 1, 2010 –REALzone LLC, a company that specializes in relationship growth and development, announced today that Journals and Good Literature have officially replaced human beings as Americans Friends Of Choice. The annual AFOC vote took place at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore city and Journals and Books are expected to officially begin their responsibilities by the end of the week.

“We were not surprised at all by the outcome of the vote,” Commented D. Powell, CEO of REALzone LLC official sponsor of the event. “Especially after waiting in long lines with other human beings, those who hadn’t brought their books or journals, were fed up… ready for a change, and their votes reflected those feelings.”

The outcome of the vote was greeted with cheers from both tourists and locals of all ages. “I decided to vote for the journal and a good book option when I realized that if I didn’t want to know the story that my book was telling, I could just close it, or else choose another book, or in extreme circumstances I could burn it”, commented Jenny Briggs of Minnesota who traveled for 3 days to cast her vote, “That same flexibility just does not exist with human beings”.

The implications of the vote have yet to be seen, but most people remain optimistic. “I’m obviously not going to go get rid of my friends just because a vote tells me to,” said a local voter as he tearfully embraced his human-friends “but do I trust these results? Yes. And I will think twice the next time I’m trying to decide who or what I should use for company. A good book like Harry Potter? Or one of these guys here? There really is no competition” said the voter as he held his book a little tighter and walked away.

The Grammys!!

A great showing this year! We did not attend to perform nor did we win anything at the show but we did agree to walk the red carpet just to say hey to our friends and fans. It was a great time.

After much stressed we finally decided to ditch our signature cape and glasses and settled on this dress by Stephane Rolland and got a huge discount on our hair and makeup by Windows 7 Paint.

We felt like we looked great and all together had a great time, more deets on the winners to follow!