Look What I Found!; Inside Joke; Sorry

Actually, we've decided that inside jokes are lame. This post can either be funny for one person, or lame for everyone, and we've decided to go with lame for everyone.

Last year we were in a play called "Home" by Samm Art-Williams. It was this crazy play that ended up being awesome, but at one point we had a line where we said, "Black gabardine pants pegged at the ankles". We'd never seen or heard the word gabardine before in our entire lives, so it was kind of funny to come acrossT it while randomly clicking on a Nordstrom ad in our email inbox.

Told ya, lame.

Ask Gwen: Gossip

Gwen, 


Yesterday I overheard one of my "best friends" talking about me behind my back. I would be upset, except somehow I've known that this person has been doing this all along. What, if any, action should I take?


Sincerely, 
KnewItAllAlong

Dear KnewItAllAlong,

We don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but true/sincere friendships are very rare. Even the best of friends will take issue with something that you are doing and they will, without reservation, tell everyone they can about it. It's a fact of life, and it's very sad.

What we're about to say to you, some may consider to be bad advice, but we're going to say it anyway: If you find out that someone is gossiping about you, as far as we're concerned it's too late to really DO anything. Our dad uses this quotation ,"a man forced against his will, is of the same opinion still", we think this applies in this situation. Sitting this friend down and saying something along the lines of, "I heard you say x, y, and z, about me, and it really hurt my feelings", won't really get you anywhere. You may enjoy the satisfaction of watching him/her scramble for an excuse, but it won't change what he/she thinks.

To them you're still "annoying", "rude", "inconsiderate", "ugly", or whatever else he/she said about you when you weren't around.

So instead of using your energy to "fix" this current relationship, I would put your energy into finding new friends. Or better yet, finding a great boyfriend, becoming better at your job, keeping your room clean, serving others.

Best friends who gossip are the worst. Leave them, and don't look back.

Love,
Gwen

Ask Gwen; Kind of; More Like...Tell Gwen; Tell Gwen!

Dear Gwen,

It’s really upsetting when I come to your blog and it’s just words and no YogueToons or Bama pictures or anything.

Sincerely,

ReallybrutalYogueINreader

Dear ReallybrutalYogueINreader,

We feel really bad when we aren’t able to attach a picture to our posts, but it’s very difficult at work to give off the appearance of working when we have the Paint program up on our screen. Know what we mean? So we apologize and ask that for your patience and love :)

Xoxo

Gwen!

Ask Gwen: Girls & Heels

Dear Gwen,

I have a good friend who wears really high heels but doesn't know how to walk in them. She is always doing that teeter-totter-toe-toe walk that I'm sure you've seen girls doing. I'm just wondering, as a friend, is it my responsibility to tell her that she looks ridiculous? I love her so much! Please help!

Sincerely,
Sickoflookingatit

Dear SickOfLookingAtIt,

I think this is a really good question. I've mentioned many times before that this is not a fashion blog, but it does seem like your question deals more with your responsibilities as a friend rather than your friend's choice of footwear. Instead of telling your friend anything that will hurt their feelings, just direct her to YogueIN! Below is a video that I took off of YouTube that demonstrates how to walk in heels.

I chose this video because the girl talking keeps pronouncing "heel" like "hill" (ie:"Don't put all the weight on the hill of your foot in your high-hills") And because she doesn't start giving any really useful advice until 2:21. 

Always remember, hill heel than toe!

xoxo
Gwen!

Ask Gwen: True Feelings?

Dear Gwen,

We've read some of your posts and a couple of them have been about your current living situation. Would you draw a cartoon YogueToon depicting your true feelings about your current residence?

Sincerely,
Curious

Dear Curious,
Gladly!
xoxo
Gwen!

Ask Gwen: Laughing And Looking

Dear Gwen,


I can't watch funny movies at my apartment anymore, because whenever an actor makes a joke, my roommate starts laughing and looks at me while she's laughing. I don't understand -- is she checking to see if I am laughing? Does she think I'm funny? Please help!


Sincerely,
Confused


Dear Confused,

The laugh and look is a classic comedy time 'faux pas'. There are two schools of thought as to why people laugh and look. The first reason is that watching the funny show, is more of a social engagement than actual entertainment. Meaning, your roommate is watching the movie in order to spend time with you, rather than to understand and appreciate the actual plot of the movie. Hence, she'd much rather be just laughing with you -- without the movie on. The second hypothesis is that your roommate is not comfortable thinking that something is funny without first knowing that you think it's funny too. Thus, she'll look at you, and laugh only as long as you are laughing also.

Unfortunately, there is no solution. As long as there is humor in the world, there will be the laugh and look.

xoxo
Gwen

Ask Gwen: 'Over It' ?

Dear Gwen,

I really like you're blog. I'm 67 years old and I've heard a lot of the young ones in my neighborhood use this newfangled saying where they'll say I'm "over it". Now Gwen, I don't know what that means. I've never seen one of these kids "over" a doggone thing except their behinds in front of the T.V. This generation really doesn't have a clue what it means to----


Dear "67 years old",

So glad to hear you like the blog, but so sorry that we had to cut your question short! We've gotten a lot of emails recently from the elderly asking about different idiomatic expressions used by today's youth. The term "over it", is often used when a person is mentally/emotionally or even physically finished with a person/place/thing or experience etc.

For example, today you may hear people saying things like, "I'm so over April Fools", this doesn't mean that they are literally standing or sitting on top of April 1st, but rather it means they are finished dealing with the shenanigans that often accompany the "holiday".

Additionally, you may find yourself in a conversation about why you've chosen not to wear your dentures, to which you could reply, "oh..psht, I'm over it", in answering this way you give the double meaning of 1. You can't be bothered with cleaning and wearing your dentures, and 2. You don't need teeth.

It's a very versatile expression, and we suggest that you try to use it as often as possible!


What are you all 'over'?

Do you want to ask Gwen something? Send an email to YogueIN@gmail.com Attn: Ask Gwen

Ask Gwen: Google Image Mistakes

Dear Gwen,

I am an entry level writer for YogueIN, I was doing research for a Yoguetoon and I accidentally Google imaged "Cancer". Now I've seen things that I never wanted to see. What should I do?

Please help,
scarred4life

_________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Scarred4life,

I'm sorry that happened. Google Images can be very helpful, but you really have to be careful what you type into the search bar. At this point, with the images already in your mind, there is no advice I can give you to erase what you have seen.

Condolences,

Gwen (xoxo)


trust me, you do not want to click here

Ask Gwen: Living In a Box

Dear Gwen,

Recently I have had the overwhelming desire to live in a box. I've dropped out of school, trashed my computer, and disconnected my phone... that is why I am sending you this letter via the mail. I am finally feeling a little bit better, but I am afraid that as soon as I go back to the real world, I'll want to live in a box again. Please help!

Sincerely,
Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed,

There have been many studies done on these types of feelings. In a recent case study done by YogueIN's research company, TRUTHzone LLC, researchers found that the desire to live in a box is directly related
to the amount of time any given person spends with brutal people.

You'll notice that by the fourth minute in the company of a

Ask Gwen

YogueIN Reader (Yoguee) Question: Why do you portray people like Tiger Woods, or even your own staff member Smoke Jackson etc doing the 'Stanky Leg' so often in your YogueToons?

Dear Reader,

Thanks so much for following our site and taking time to look at our various YogueToons. According to case studies done by our research company, TRUTHzone LLC, the "Stanky Leg" is the ultimate expression of freedom and rejoicing. We often use this gesture in YogueToons when a certain person in the media or on staff is experiencing ultimate satisfaction. For example, the paparazzi recently caught Tiger Woods doing the 'Stanky Leg' when he left rehab after a week, and similarly, YogueIN's security cameras caught Smoke Jackson doing the 'Stanky Leg' when our offices closed early for the day.

I hope that answers your question!

xoxo
Gwen!


Please submit any and all questions that you may have to yoguein@gmail.com attn: Ask Gwen